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Geeky as geeky goes...

So, I'm sitting here with matociqula; we're both working on our respective tasks. Mine is composing the nuts-and-bolts detail for our next year's federal funding applications. I finished putting together Hartford Adult Education -- school #13 of 17 that are getting tech refreshes next year -- and took a peak at the project total.

I'm up to $1.9M, which prompted me to do a brief victory dance, 'cause the two million mark is in sight. Then I said to eBear "I suppose I shouldn't be so cheerful about spending the peoples' money." She said "go on, spend the peoples' money." I said "spend the peoples' money," then "spank the peoples' monkey." Which elicited "that's a lot of monkey."

Sure enough, the calculator damn near leaped into my hand.

Hmm, 300,000,000 Americans, half of who are male, gives us 150,000,000 Americans with a monkey to spank.
Assume the average monkey is 6.5" inches long.
That's a really big number, howzabout we express that in miles...


Giving us 184,659 miles of the peoples' monkey to spank.

eBear informs me that's 3/4 of the way to the moon. ...Which makes me think of Ronald Reagan and his national debt expressed as a stack of dollar bills rising into the stratosphere from the depths of the grand canyon. "All of the statistical average erections in the U.S. stacked one on top of the other would reach 75% of the way to the moon. If all the men lie and claim 8" boners, that gets you clear to old luna."

There's something really broken inside my head.

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( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
mishamish
Dec. 14th, 2006 08:23 pm (UTC)
Actually, I think the average is closer to 5.5" I know, I know, I'm being all nit-picky and stuff, but we're talking about the difference between 75% of the way to the moon and 63% of the way to the moon, and that's a major difference!

Also, if men were asked about their penis size while drunk, then I think the resulting measure would easily be enough to get you to one of MARS moons. :-P
netcurmudgeon
Dec. 16th, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
eBear has a fine old sight-gag about "why are women so bad at carpentry?"

"Because," (she holds her hands about five inches apart) "men keep telling them that this is eight inches!"
rhia_hilldancer
Dec. 14th, 2006 09:13 pm (UTC)
eww
not sure i'll ever get the image of all those monkeys stacked to the moon out of my poor head...
half_elf_lost
Dec. 14th, 2006 09:21 pm (UTC)
You know how lying can get you further now! LOL
netcurmudgeon
Dec. 16th, 2006 04:07 am (UTC)
I count as one of my blessings that I managed to grow up without any anxiety about the size of my monkey. ;-)
half_elf_lost
Dec. 16th, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
Please don't fix whatever it is that's broken in your head, because it's damn funny.
netcurmudgeon
Dec. 17th, 2006 03:53 am (UTC)
Thanks! :-)
randomblade
Dec. 14th, 2006 09:27 pm (UTC)
Hilarious.
Well, it's not like rockets aren't giant flying penii anyway...
sythyry
Dec. 15th, 2006 05:09 pm (UTC)
More importantly, 184,659 miles is very close to the distance light travels in one second!
netcurmudgeon
Dec. 16th, 2006 04:03 am (UTC)
Oh Lord. One light-second of Monkey. I um, sheeeit. Now that's something.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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